It's easy to blame a life changing illness for ruining your life but where would you be without it?
In a life where I wasn't diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis at the tender age of 19 where would I be?
Well I can hazard a pretty good guess and it would be far from Pretty.
I was on a slippery slope of drinking too much and accepting things from my partner that I shouldn't have put up with. I was a complete arsehole with my mum and I didn't care about anyone or anything other than myself.
I went to work all week and spent my time at home hiding out in the bedroom, usually having a drink, watching TV and all the rest of my time in the pub.
I drank too much, I smoked too much, I took drugs too much, I swore too much and I didn't give a shit enough.
IBD saved me from myself.
I am strong now because I have been weak before and I didn't like it.
I am happy now because I have have experienced heart wrenching sadness before and I didn't like it.
I laugh a lot now because I have cried so hard before and I didn't like it.
I live each day now because I have been so close to death before and I didn't like it.
I am brave now because I have experienced so much hurt before and I didn't like it.
I am confident now because I have been so uncomfortable in my own skin before and I did not like it.
I care a lot now because I have mistreated people and isolated myself before and I didn't like it.
I have a lot of love to give now because I used to hate the world before I didn't like it.
I am grateful for every day I have now because I've wasted so many before and I didn't like it.
My name is Sahara Fleetwood-Beresford. I smoke too much, I swear too much and I give a shit a lot.